I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
