Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
