Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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