...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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