you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
