Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm sobbing to NWA
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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