are you so shy because you have an std?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
