You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
