On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Having a random hookup so left but love u
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
