I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
