You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
