All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
