i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
