Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
