thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
