The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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