mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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