Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
