lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
