dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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