Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You smell like stripper and shame
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
