And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
