I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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