This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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