I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
We got so high we made milksteak
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
