I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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