I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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