Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
