he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Randomize
