Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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