its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
