We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
