I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
