Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
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