when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
She announced her abortion via fbk
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
