This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
