Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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