Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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