She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
