So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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