So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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