shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
