The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
