You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
