officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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