She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
