garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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