it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
