since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I supernannyed him into submission
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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