Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
