HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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