I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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